Emo Sucks Ass

Mevio Player

2010-04-30T12:04:00.001-06:00

Frank Turner

2010-02-01T21:24:00.019-07:00

Nowadays it seems that nearly every punk rock front man has a "solo project". Depending on your taste in music this might be an exciting offshoot of the scene or it might be an obnoxious trend. I believe there are artists that represent both viewpoints. Guys like Chuck Ragan (Hot Water Music) and Tim Barry (Avail) command respect for their solo ventures. At the very least their music is interesting. At most it is eclectic, unifying and - dare I say - enlightening. I would be lying if I said I had any interest in folk music or alt-country before hearing Ragan's Gold Country. Now I find my CD and record collections being filled increasingly with some of the genre's staple artists.

On the other hand, Joey Cape (Lagwagon), Dave Hause (The Loved Ones) and Tony Sly (No Use For A Name) have also tried their hands at acoustic solo careers with less impressive results. They tend to rely on the formula that has become the blueprint of acoustic performance. Stripped down songs, soft and sensitive vocals, and a conspicuous lack of energy are some of the elements these three have implemented to turn themselves into almost comical cliches. The results leave us wondering if the songs come from the heart or a desire to be seen as a deep, serious song writer capable of more than two minutes of power chords.

Where Cape, Hause and Sly fail, Frank Turner succeeds. Turner is a British singer/songwriter and former lead singer of Million Dead. When the band broke up in 2005 he decided to play a few solo shows to keep busy. It didn't take long for Turner to realize that he enjoyed it more than being in a band. He has stayed extremely busy as a solo artist ever since (although he is accompanied by a full band on all of his records and most of his shows he is still considered a solo act). Last year he released his third record Poetry of the Deed and it happens to be my favorite album of 2009.

Frank Turner released his debut full length Sleep Is for the Week in 2007 but really hit his stride a year later with his follow up album Love Ire & Song. It was on this record that Turner found his sound and perfected his craft. 2009's Poetry picks up where Love left off and leaves one wondering how it is possible to make three records in three years and keep up the rigorous touring schedule that Turner is known for without sacrificing the sophistication of the music and the quality of the performance.

It is this turbulent, frantic pace that seems to drive Turner. Unlike his counterparts and predecessors who seem to thrive on the tranquility the change to acoustic/folk rock offers, Frank Turner has retained that punk rock energy and isn't afraid to let it shine through in his music. In the chorus of the fan favorite "Photosynthesis" Turner proudly proclaims "I won't sit down/And I won't shut up/But most of all I will not grow up". In the soon to be classic "The Road" he writes "I've felt old before my time but now I keep the age away by burning up the miles and by filling up my days...I face the horizon, everywhere I go. I face the horizon, the horizon is my home."

Turner's energy and spirit are perhaps best captured on "Dan's Song". While many performers have used the undemanding formula of using vocals and acoustic guitar to convey nostalgia, regret and trepidation, Frank Turner utilized this model and added energy and unadulterated passion. He takes the typical soft, simple melody found in most tedious acoustic ballads and plays it with the aggression of Greg Ginn and the sincerity of Ian Mackaye. When combined with smart, intrinsic lyrics Turner turns what otherwise would be a slow tempo, unoriginal confession into an upbeat introspection that will leave you in awe that anyone could summarize such complicated feelings so perfectly.

Here are a few of Frank Turner's best songs. There are so many more but these should give an idea of what he is all about.

"Long Live The Queen"

"The Road"

"Photosynthesis"

Spooooooooky

2009-03-23T07:58:00.000-06:00

I have always been a big fan of horror-punk. It is a genre that I think is largely underrated and under-appreciated, in part because of the overall silliness of the lyrics, costumes and videos. Nevertheless I think there is some great talent hiding in this not-so-little and quickly expanding scene. Web sites like the World Horror Network have helped turn widely held love for the Misfits, horror movies and music into a tight knit yet thriving culture.

One of the better horror punk bands out there is Calabrese. To be honest, I don't know much about these guys other than that they are probably the best recording band this scene has. The thing that sets Calabrese apart from the rest of the horror crop is their obvious emphasis on making good music. Most horror-punk bands, like the local Diemonsterdie, spend most of their time and energy trying to look the part and seem to put songwriting and production on the back burner. Its a shame because there is a lot of talent that will never reach its potential being trapped in such a limiting and fashion conscious scene.

Here is one of my favorite Calabrese songs. Its called Voices of the Dead

Music, music, music

2008-10-21T13:30:00.000-06:00

I know my entries lately have been half-assed and really weak. Its crazy how busy life gets when you have a family. Not only do I not have time to sit down and write anymore, I don't even have time to sit down and think about what to write.

"You Can't Stop The Underground..."
There is one thing I can always blab about though: music. This summer I spent a lot of time listening to music and discovering new bands. I listened to hundreds of songs and became a fan of dozens of young, underground groups. Chaser, Antagen, the Willkills, One Big Lie and Skyline Collapse are just a few of my new favorites. I didn't realize how starved I was for new, good music.

I came to realize that - contrary to what I originally thought - the underground punk scene as we knew it in the 90's has experienced a rebirth. There are many people out there who, like me, feel incredibly disconnected from and abandonned by many of the bands and figures who were integral parts of what was once punk rock. People are angry at the utter lack of concern and the emphasis on vanity. Fortunately these people have joined, in a total DIY spirit, to re-form the scene and the lifestyle that they once held so close to their hearts. It is very refreshing.

What was once underground has exploded into a grotesque, mainstream caricature of its former self, where closely held ideals have become fashion accessories and where once incorruptable figures like Davey Havok now sport their newest hairstyle on the cover of Rolling Stone. Thankfully there will always be those who have a natural attraction to counter culture movements. There will always be the underground.

The Best of the Best?
I've been thinking lately about my all time favorite albums. It is an incredibly difficult list to narrow down but I'm going to give it a try and get it down to 10. These are in no particular order and there is no doubt in my mind that there are probably dozens that I just didn't remember off the top of my head. If I think of any more later on (which in inevitable, I'm sure) I will make sure to add them. In the meantime, here are my top 10 favorite albums:

Bad Religion - Suffer
It was a toss up between this and No Control. Suffer gets the edge because it has more of a "classic" element that I just can't seem to put my finger on. This was Bad Religion's triumphant return after disbanding years before and nothing they would record after would be better than this ablum. Suffer set the tone for what would be 90's punk rock: fast, melodic yet agressive music blended immaculately with harmonic vocals. "Do What You Want" is still one of my all time favorite songs.

Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power
Quite possibly the best metal band off all time. I had a hard time deciding between VDP or The Great Southern Trendkill but I've loved this album for so long that it is hard to top. There are so many good songs on this album like Walk, By Demons Be Driven, Hollow and This Love, but my favorite has to be Fucking Hostile.

The Vandals - Live Fast, Diarrhea
The thing I love about the Vandals is that they don't pretend to be something they are not. They classify their music as comedy and don't try to be some preachy band condemning society's corruptibility or advocating the fall of the government. They leave that to the Propaghandi's of the world (who's album How to Clean Everything could have easily made this list). LF,D is just fast, fun punk rock. It was one of the first real punk rock albums I ever bought and it will always be near the top of my list of favorites. The best songs are Let the Bad Times Roll, And Now We Dance, Johnny Twobags and Kick Me.

Misfits - Collection II
Ok, I know this is kind of cheating because its really a compilation of old Misfits material, but from start to finish this is one of the greatest cds you can buy. The Misfits of old (before Glenn Danzig's departure) is one of the greatest and most influential bands of all time. The pioneers of horror punk kicked a lot of ass in their day and Collection II keeps that tradition alive over three decades since the Fiends first started playing together. Its hard to single out the best songs since each and every one is classic, but I'll give it a go: Attitude, Demonomania, Braineaters, Children in Heat and, of course Last Caress

Bob Marley & the Wailers - Uprising
Picking out a favorite Bob Marley album is like trying to choose your favorite child, its impossible. I went with Uprising because it contains my 2 favorite reggae songs of ever: Coming In From the Cold and Pimper's Paradise and it would be criminal not to mention Redemption Song. The only way this album could be any better would be if it had a studio version of Punky Reggae Party.

Pennywise - Full Circle
Pennywise is one of my favorite bands but I'll just come out and say it anyway, most of their albums sound exactly the same. It makes distinguishing between them difficult at times unless you have track listings in front of you and it makes is incredibly hard to pick a favorite. Since I can't put all of them on here I picked Full Circle because it undoubtedly has the most heart and is the one I can relate with the most. This album was Pennywise's first effort after the suicide of their bassist and founding member Jason Thirsk. It has a lot of personal material that tugs at my heart strings. Whenever I hear the remake of Bro Hymn Tribute I get chills.

Snoop Dogg - Tha Last Meal
A lot of people might be surprised to find this on my list of favorite albums. I like hip hop only when it is done well. Snoop Dogg is really the only mainstream hip hop that I can stomach these days. While I was tempted to put on Heiruspecs' A Tiger Dancing or even Snoop's classic Doggystyle neither of them could top Tha Last Meal. The best songs on it is Hennesey N' Buddah, Ready 2 Ryde and Set It Off.

Buju Banton - Til' Shiloh
This is just damn good reggae. Despite Buju's character flaws and reported bigotry against homosexuals, he still knows how to make a great roots reggae album. I discovered this record in college and it, along with Black Uhuru's unification, always puts me in a good mood. The highlights include Champion, Murderer, Wanna Be Loved and Not an Easy Road.

H2O - Nothing to Prove
Its going to be hard for me to limit what I write about Nothing to Prove because I could go on and on about how great it is. H2O has always been a great band, but they finally reached their potential with this album. It came out in May and is their first record in eight years. I've always felt that H2O, while being very well respected in the punk and hardcore communities, was a band that was stuck between two scenes. They have hardcore roots yet play melodic punk and seemed to have a hard time solidifying their identity. Well they certainly hit their stride with Nothing to Prove; it is their best album and could be one of the best hardcore/punk album EVER. My favorite songs are 1995, Heart on My Sleeve, Sunday and What Happened?

The Descendents - Milo Goes to College

The way it is

2008-09-08T14:08:00.000-06:00

I've overheard some debate over whether Utah is the best team in the conference, of if BYU is. To answer this question you need only compare the wins of each team. Week 1: Utah plays Michigan in The Big House. Utes win by 2. BYU plays the equivalent of Connecticut Community College. BYU wins by not nearly enough. Week 2: Utah plays conference rival UNLV. It takes a half to get it together but Utes win by 21. BYU plays a terrible Washington team. It takes a atrocious call by the official in the closing seconds for the Cougars to cling to a 1 point victory (in other words, BYU wins in typical fashion: cheap and undeserved).

At this point I don't see how anyone can argue that anyone but the Utes are the best in the conference. I would put TCU ahead of BYU right now. Its a long season and anything can happen, but in the first two weeks of the season no one in the Mountain West has out played the Utes.
The last thing I've got to say is to BYU fans: stop trying to justify that bogus call in that whiny, arrogant, self righteous little tone of yours. You didn't deserve to win, you shouldn't have won, and if the roles were reversed you'd be bitching louder and more obnoxiously than Washington fans are (because, lets face it, you are the kings of bitching)

Rooting for BYU is like competing in the special olympics; even if you win you're still retarded.

2008-09-05T16:29:00.000-06:00

The Utes beat Michigan last week. Stoked. Honestly, I was worried about whether they were going to pull out the win. I knew they could, but the Utes have a history of choking down the stretch (lets not go into details, particularly about a certain 4th and 28).

Tomorrow UNLV is in town. It should be a cake walk for the Utes, but that's what I said last year, just before the Rebels shut them out.

I love this time of year.

Title

2008-06-23T12:26:00.000-06:00

7/31/08: I wrote this over a month ago, I just never finished it. Its still incomplete:

I have so much to say that I don't know where to start.

I couldn't be happier that the Lakers got beat down by a Celtics team that really isn't as good as they seemed to be in the Finals. I am really happy for Kevin Garnett, too. He was stuck with a D-League caliber team for most of the time he was in Minnesota and, considering how hard he competes year in and year out, its good to finally see him rewarded for all his effort. The guy has more heart than everyone else in the league put together.

During these Finals I found myself liking Paul Pierce more and more. I always thought he was a typical NBA star; an arrogant, selfish, rich imbecile who cared more about getting his shots then the overall success of his team. Well, if that was the case then he seems to have changed his tune. Danny Ainge really screwed the Celtics up over the last few years and Pierce had to put up with it. So it is good to see him be an integral part of a championship squad after all the lean years he experienced in Boston.

I've written about Ray Allen before so its no secret that I like his game a lot. I never fully realized how much of a professional he is, though. Win or lose, Allen had the same expression, same body language, same attitude. I always got a sense that he knew exactly what it would take to win and that it was never an option for him to do any less. And when the Celtics won game 6 and finished the series, Allen sported a big smile but refrained from screaming, yelling and publicly thanking God. The consummate professional.

It is so rare these days to find three NBA superstars whom I actually like. It is even rarer to find them all on the same team. In my eyes, these three guys each emulate (in their own very unique ways) how athletes should approach the game.

When the Celtics lost games 3 and 5 you didn't hear them blame the referees like Phil Jackson, Kobe Bryant and the rest of the detestable Lakers did. They took responsibility and credited the other team. That, in a nutshell, perfectly illustrates the difference between these two teams. The Lakers seem to have a sense of entitlement that stems right from their head coach. Their arrogance, along with the league's love affair for them, give the impression that they are supposed to win, like its preordained.

That's what lost them the title. The Lakers have a better team then the Celtics and there is no excuse for L.A. not winning this series. The two elements that buried them before they even played Boston were their arrogance and their lack of respect for the Celtics. Those are the same things that cost them the series against Detroit a few years back.

You expect Jackson and Bryant to be arrogant and disrespectful, that's just given. But for guys like Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol to walk with their noses in the air is inexcusable. Both of those guys have not won anything in their careers. They have been on largely unsuccessful teams and you would think that they would go into this series hungry and ready. Instead I think that both of them bought into the hype. With all the "experts" saying that they were going to win they probably started to believe it and took the Celtics lightly.

And then there's Vujacic. He is the epitome of unjustified arrogance. If he couldn't shoot there is no way he would be playing in this league. He doesn't run plays, he can't dribble, he can't pass and he takes incredibly stupid shots.

And we can't forget about his atrocious defense. Let's hope that he was knocked down a peg or ten when he gave up arguably the biggest basket of the series to Ray Allen. With Vujacic guarding him near half court, Ray Allen waved off a screen from Kevin Garnett. For those of you who don't know, that is a huge insult. If a guy you are guarding waves off a screen he is telling the whole world that he owns your ass. When Allen did that you would think that Vujacic would play the best defense anyone has ever seen. Instead, the 24 year old Slovenian basically stepped aside and let Allen drive for an easy layup.

I, literally, almost laughed my ass right off.

Inked

2008-04-07T13:56:00.000-06:00

I finally got my tattoo, it is a memorial tattoo for Austin. Its about two years overdue but I must say it was worth the wait and I am quite proud of it. Saturday I had big plans to drink beer and watch the final four but something inside me said "Get off your ass and have a stranger stick ink-filled needles in your arm for multiple hours." So I did.

For a long time I knew what I wanted to get done but I just kept putting it off; the biggest reason probably being I was scared of the pain (don't laugh at me just because I am a pussy). But finally I just decided to suck it up and get it done.

Since I decided last minute to do it I didn't have an appointment anywhere. I first went to 11th Street Electric Gallery and asked the rude, grungy, and smelly guy, who was missing quite a few teeth, at the front desk if there was any chance I could get inked up that day. After a few seconds of looking me up and down and no doubt judging my clean cut, tattoo-less look he said "What are you gonna' have done?" So I handed him the sloppy sketch I had done before leaving the house. He glanced at it and said "No way we can do that on a walk-in. Make an appointment, the soonest I can get you in is Monday."

I thought about making an appointment for a moment and then came to the realization that there was no guarantee I wouldn't chicken out before Monday. I had put this off for almost two years because I'm a little girl when it comes to needles, the chances of me not psyching myself out before my appointment were probably slim to none. So I abruptly walked out of the shop.

The next stop was Lost Art Tattoo on about State and 4th. The people here were much more friendly and accommodating. The girl at the front told me that one of the owners, Dean, had a couple cancellations that day and that if I came back in an hour or so he would do it. So I drove home, made Ashley cancel the plans she previously made with her sister and drove us both back to Lost Art just in time to wait for an hour and a half for Dean to finish tattooing someone else.

To say that I was nervous would be the understatement of the century. The whole time we were there waiting my arms and legs shook uncontrollably. I stood up, I sat down, I paced the length of the waiting area repeatedly, I even went outside in the freezing cold a few times. Nothing could settle my nerves. My internal dialog was not helping the matter, either: "How bad is it going to hurt?", "I hope I don't make him stop halfway through because its so painful", "Will everyone here make fun of me if I cry?", "Maybe I should just walk out now", etc., etc.

Finally he came to the waiting area and told me it was time. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit..." I thought.

The area in which they actually do the tattooing is one big room; there aren't individual studios or anything. This means there is no privacy which means any noises, faces or movements I might make while a needle is cutting into three layers of my skin will be witnessed by every single person in that room. Not only was I intimidated but my state of mind went from nervous to almost a full blown anxiety attack.

Dean shaved all the fuzz off the upper part of my arm, stuck on the blue stencil ink and loaded up the electric needle. When he turned it on I just about crushed Ashley's hand with how hard I squeezed it. Then he started...

It sucked...really bad. Its a really weird pain and some areas hurt worse than others. The closer he got to my shoulder the harder I gritted my teeth.

When he was less than half way done with the initial outline I started to feel light headed. I lost all the color in my face and I started to sweat profusely. I was seconds away from losing consciousness when he stopped and had the front desk girl get me some water. I downed about three cups and started to feel a little better. When I was all the way back to normal he told me that people pass out all the time right at the beginning. He said the girl who he tattooed before me went out when he turned on the needle, before he even touched her with it. He has seen people go out when he put on the stencil. That made me feel a lot better and much less embarrassed.

About forty-five minutes into it, some kid who couldn't have been more than 19 or 20 years old sat down facing me on the other side of the room. He was getting a sun or a Chinese symbol or a tribal sign or some stupid, generic, trendy thing that he will regret in ten years. Anyway, less than ten minutes into his tattoo he started to get pale and light headed. Instead of not making it worse by not making a big deal about it, his tattoo artist started fanning him with his hand and asking him repeatedly if he was ok. So his friends who were there immediately circled around him and made a big spectacle. They asked him if he was going to pass out and snickered at him; even his girlfriend laughed. The entire room was fixated on him. I am so glad that wasn't me. That would have made me lose consciousness immediately.

He got a bit of revenge on his girlfriend, however. Later on when she was getting her tramp stamp she started puking violently and couldn't stop. After a while I was surprised that she had anything left to throw up but she kept going. While all her friends laughed in her face her boyfriend shouted at her "And YOU were making fun of ME! Hahahahahaha!"

My tattoo took about two hours. Dean said the outline would be the worst part but he was wrong. The outline was a cake walk compared to the coloring and shading. By the time he got to coloring it in my arm had already been cut up by the outline so it was like drilling through an already open wound.

Even though it was very painful and I was a nervous wreck beforehand, the final product was well worth it. Dean did an amazing job. Not only does it look great but it has a lot of meaning for me. And I like that it is not generic and it is not something that will be duplicated. I came up with it and it actually means something to me. I couldn't be happier about it.

For those who are wondering, there is a shamrock because Austin's birthday is one day after St. Patrick's day. He always used to joke that St. Patty's was really an excuse for the world to celebrate his birthday. The quote at the top ("A Bond That Will Never Die") is from one of my favorite Bouncing Souls songs called "Manthem". The song is a tribute to those people who are more than merely friends, they are more like family.

Everybody take out your rulers

2008-03-10T21:54:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since I've written anything so you'll have to excuse me if this is a bit choppy and unpolished.

The NBA's Western Conference playoff race seems to get more and more interesting by the day. When the playoffs finally get here basketball fans are in for a scrappy, emotional and intense post season. This could be the most entertaining and competative playoffs of all time.

Remember a month ago when the NBA was turned into a game of musical chairs? The Lakers received a donation of Pau Gasol from the Grizzlies and it was like someone fired a gun signifying the start of a trading frenzy:

The Suns traded their best defender and most well-rounded player for an old and sometimes over weight Shaquille O'Neal who has not made a consistent significant impact on a team in almost two years. I told G-Money that this trade would drop the Suns down to the 5th or 6th seed when the playoffs start. He told me I was crazy. How ya like me now?

Mark Cuban and the Mavericks became hell-bent on getting in on basketball's version of a penis measuring contest by giving up their future for Jason Kidd. Keep in mind Kidd can't shoot, is old, and has choked in his two Finals appearances (at least he'll fit in well with his new team in this respect). The Mavs are now fighting to keep a playoff spot and meanwhile Devin Harris is tearing it up with the Nets and helping them try to earn a suprise trip to the postseason.

After that I lost interest. Two of the top four teams made trades that were giant steps backwards without offering any upside of promising futures. I began to wonder if there was any intelligence left in the front offices across the Association. Looking back I seem to remember Mike Bibby going to Atlanta, Cleveland making a trade for the sake of trading, and something to do with the Hornets. When it was all said and done, something like 40 or 50 different players changed teams (don't quote me on those numbers but I'm pretty sure it was close to that).

After all that no one stands a chance of beating the new and improved Lakers. I hate the Lakers. Why couldn't Steve Kerr and Mike D'Antoni keep Shawn Marion and try and out run Los Angeles? Why couldn't Mark Cuban keep his member in his pants? Why couldn't God step down and guide Kevin O'Connor and Larry Miller to making the trade of the century ensuring the Jazz's domination for years to come? Instead the goddamned Lakers are going to win the next five titles, leading pompous, annoying media fascists like Stephen A. Smith to declare them the best franchise of all time.

I think I'll become a hockey fan.

"I sumore meeulk!"

2007-11-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday by far. I love watching sick, twisted horror movies and scaring the hell out of people. It seems like every year, though it is always a let down; its very anticlimactic. This year was different though. This was by far the best Halloween I've ever had and all I did was take the boys trick-or-treating.

Having kids is awesome because it gives you an excuse to do all the kid stuff that you wish you could do but can't because you're old and everyone will think your a freak if you do them. For example, this year I got to go to the circus, Some Dude's Playground and the arcade (dozens of times). If I went to these places by myself everyone would look at me like I'm some sort of pervert, but when I go with the kids its totally normal. Ok, so the circus wasn't as bad ass as I remember it being when I was a little guy but those other things rule.

For Halloween this year, since I have kids, I got to decorate the house, carve pumpkins, and go trick-or-treating with the boys. Not to mention I get half of their candy since they are so small and there is no way they'd be able to eat it all. It was how Halloween was when I was a kid and it was much better than how I'd spent the last decade celebrating it.

I used to go Halloween parties with people dressed up as nugs of weed and beer kegs. I used to get wasted beyond belief and gawk at all the girls who use the pagan holiday to dress up like the most filthy sluts imaginable. To tell the truth I always had a blast at these parties, too. But now that I've got a family all that seems trivial and meaningless. It is easy to make friends who are really nothing more than party acquaintances, but they won't run and give you a hug when you get home from work or ask you to read them a story before bed. And even though the three year old insisted on being a "scary witch" for Halloween despite pleas from his parents that he wear a boy's costume like a pirate or Spider Man, I would still rather wake up to he and his brother jumping on my stomach at 6:00 a.m. than on some strange couch in a house that smells like whiskey and puke.

This is just an obligatory headline

2007-10-31T00:52:00.000-06:00

(10-30-07: I wrote the following a while ago, I just forgot to post it.)

Go See This Movie

Last week I saw In the Valley of Elah. It is the most memorable movie I have seen in a long time. It is baffling to me that there is not more buzz around it.

I heard a review of it on the radio and that was the only reason I knew it existed. Despite the fact that it stars Tommy Lee Jones, Susan Sarandon and Charlize Theron I never saw or heard one television, radio or print ad for this film. You would think that, with a cast like this, the company that released it would be promoting the hell out of it. But instead when we went to see it last Wednesday night, we were the only ones in the theater.

It is hard to explain what this movie is about in such a short space. In a nutshell, when his son goes missing shortly after returning from Iraq, Tommy Lee Jones heads to his army base in New Mexico to find him.

I'm not going to elaborate from here, doing so would give away huge plot lines. But where the story goes is not nearly as important as the message conveyed. This movie is about the mindset people in the military evolve just to handle the things they see and the things they have to do. It is about the aggression that is fostered by war and how separating from that newfound aggression when the war is over may be an impossible task. It is about the victimization of our troops (but not by the government as you might suspect, more by the realities and necessities of war).

Finally there is a movie about Iraq not trying force a political agenda. I have my own opinions about the war and you have yours. I don't need my opinions validated or criticized by a movie that will polarize everyone who sees it. I'm sick of being grouped into one over-generalized category or another simply based on whether I liked a particular controversial movie or not. That is one refreshing thing about this "Iraq movie" (although the movie really isn't about Iraq or the war itself), if I give my opinion I won't worry if someone is judging me only based on the fact that I enjoyed it (doing something like that is chicken-shit if you ask me, but most people do just that).

The problem is, if I did offer my opinion of In the Valley of Elah to someone, they probably wouldn't know what the hell I was talking about. This is a great movie and no one seems to know or care about it. Do yourself a favor and go see this movie.

Reception

We have a date for the wedding reception. It will be on Saturday, February 23, about a week after we get back from our honeymoon. It will be at my parents new house. I'm not going to list the address here but it will be on your invitation. If you don't get an invitation just call me and I'll give it to you (if you don't get one it doesn't mean that we don't want you there, it is really hard to remember everybody and I'm sure there will be more people than invitiations).

Perverts and Crunked Punks

2007-09-25T16:56:00.000-06:00

What a Sick Freak
So polygamist leader Warren Jeffs has been convicted. This is the best news I have heard in a long time. My problem with the guy isn't that he practices polygamy (having multiple wives could have its benefits..."chop, chop...dig, dig"), its that he promotes incest and sexual abuse of children. In this particular case, he forced a 14 year old girl to marry her 19 year old cousin...her first cousin. Its not like he arranged an eighteen year old woman to marry a non-blood related second cousin or something. He forced this poor, young girl against her will to marry her aunt and uncle's son. This is disgusting and despicable on so many levels. I don't even know where to begin describing how angry this makes me.

Apparently Warren Jeffs rules his followers with an iron fist. He demands nothing but complete subordination and blind devotion. I cannot help but smile at the potential irony of this all. I pray that ol' Warren, especially considering his skinny, lanky physique (see picture) and the fact that he is a child molester shares a cell with a man named Bubba. I can only hope that Bubba demands the same subordination and blind "devotion" from Jeffs. Sweet, poetic justice.

"Dirty South Punk Shit"
Last year I saw Whole Wheat Bread open for the Bouncing Souls. They played such a good set that I bought their first album, Minority Rules there at the show. Since then they have become one of my favorite bands. The more I listen to them the more I love their music. Last week I bought their newest album, "Punk Life" (an EP, but it only has 6 songs)...it hasn't left my CD player yet and probably won't for a long time.

Punk Life (a play on the hip-hop slogan "Thug Life") is much different and more mature than the first album. While Minority was made up of punk songs reminiscent of what bands like No Fun At All played in the 90's and straight hip-hop songs, Punk Life blends the two styles and, for possibly the first time ever, does it well.

The first two songs could not be confused with anything other than punk rock (but musically more original and with a harder edge than anything off the first album). The last four songs, however, is a blend between hip-hop, punk rock, and metal. Its what Limp Biskit would sound like if they were black and had talent. One song features Jason Navarro, formerly from the Suicide Machines, and three songs are covers, including remakes of Lil Jon songs (don't hold that against them, they are really good).

This style of music is not for everyone, a lot of punks out there might have a hard time making the transition into rap (punks have been known to be musically stubborn at times) but I honestly believe that if you give Whole Wheat Bread a chance you will be impressed with what you hear.

Random Thoughts
Wedding plans are going well, thanks for asking. Also, thanks to everyone for being so enthusiastically accepting of Ashley and the boys. You guys are awesome. I still need email addresses, physical addresses, or phone numbers for some people to send announcements, invitations and updates. This will probably be the last time I mention it.

I went to the fair twice while it was in town. I can't go on the rides anymore because they all make me sick. I used to love fair rides when I was a kid but now I go on one of them and I am holding back puke for the rest of the night. I think its because almost every damn ride spins in some way or another. There are no roller coasters and the ferris wheel goes 50 miles per hour. On the plus side the giant yellow slide kicks ass.

Basketball is starting in a month or so and I can't wait. I think we need to make Andrei Kirilenko mysteriously disappear, along with his huge contract (that he does not deserve in the slightest). I am so sick of hearing this underachieving stick figure bitch and moan about not being used properly when the only thing he has ever been consistently good at it blocking shots. He can't even finish a wide open lay-up or dunk on a fast break. Even without his complaining he is only holding the team back, but now that he has opened his fat mouth he has ruined any leverage the Jazz had at trading him (and believe me when I say they were already shopping him around before he said he wanted out). This is the subject of an entire blog entry so I'm going to stop here.

Hilly Kristal R.I.P.

2007-08-29T16:18:00.000-06:00

Hilly Kristal died today from lung cancer. To be honest I don't know much about him other than he is personally responsible for punk rock as I know and love it today. He founded the legendary club CBGB in New York and without it the Ramones probably never would have found a voice and a following. No Ramones would mean no Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Toy Dolls, Adolescents, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Bad Religion, Descendents or any other punk/hardcore band from the 70's and 80's. Each of those bands, in turn, inspired hundreds upon hundreds other bands to pick up a pen and start writing songs about rebellion and being different.

Not only did he offer a microphone to the world for the Ramones, he basically let anyone who wrote their own songs and could draw a small crowd play at his club. Punks from all over the world had a big city place to get their sound out. There is not a nationally known punk band around today that didn't play CBGB at one point in time before it closed in October of last year. Many got their start there and others made it a tour stop, but the context doesn't matter. The point is you can't consider yours a successful, true punk band if you haven't played CBGB.

As far as I'm concerned Hilly Kristal, no matter how indirect, gave birth to the punk scene and started a movement. Now some people might argue that even if the Ramones didn't make it there was the Sex Pistols pioneering punk in England. Bullshit. The Sex Pistols didn't have any staying power and no one who followed them cared enough about anything to actually do something worth while. Ok, ok...maybe that's a bit of an over generalization, but my point is the Sex Pistols were just a group of brats who cared less about doing something important then just pissing off anyone who would look in their general direction. Sid Vicious can rot in hell (swastikas are not punk).

I digress...

Hilly Kristal - R.I.P.

(sorry, I have a tendency to go off on tangents)

Gettin' Hitched

2007-08-20T00:08:00.000-06:00

Everyone seems to be curious as to what's going on with the wedding so here are the tentative details we have so far:

We're getting married in Maui on Saturday, February 2, 2008. We are still working on an actual site for the ceremony but should have one within the next few days (I hope). The wedding will happen sometime mid-morning.

At 5:30 there will be a reception/dinner type thing at Leilani's on Kaanapali Beach. Sunset is at 6:00 and you couldn't ask for a more perfect place to see it.

Ashley and I would like the wedding and dinner to be for immediate family only. Sorry, its not that we don't love you, but we just want it to be a small, intimate ceremony with our loved ones. If you want to arrange to come over to Maui and hang out with us for a few days before we would love it. Most likely we will fly in on January 31.

We will be having a large reception for everyone when we get home. It will be at my parents house (it will be finished by then). We don't have a date for that yet but I will keep everyone updated.

I need physical addresses and email addresses for anyone who would like to receive updates, announcements, invitations, etc. If you don't want any that's cool, just make sure to tell me and I'll take you off the mailing list.

This is a very exciting time for us. Ashley, Mark and Luke are the best things that ever happened to me and they give me a lot of joy. I have never been happier in my entire life and I cannot wait to become a husband to the greatest person I have ever met. I have never loved any person, place or thing as much as I love Ashley and at the same time, I have never felt so loved. I am very lucky to have three great people accept me as a husband and dad with such open arms. Thanks for everyone's love and support, it really means a lot!

stuff no one but me will care about

2007-07-13T19:45:00.000-06:00

I have so much on my mind right now I think my head is going to explode if I don't get it out.

New Maps Of Hell

First off, and most importantly, New Maps Of Hell finally came out. This is just as good, if not better, than any other album Bad Religion has ever released in their 27 years of making music. I mean that with all sincerity. These guys are in their 40's, have released 15 full lengths (not to mention other greatest hits, live performances, and compilation releases), and have hundreds of songs totaling thousands of hours of music under their belts and they release their best record well after most bands would have hung it up and checked into the old folks home.

I feel more admiration and respect for Bad Religion then any other person, place or thing on this planet. I am not one to put famous people of any sort on a pedestal. I don't think they are different from anyone else and I certainly don't think they should be idolized simply because they have a talent that is visible and marketed to the mass public. Bad Religion is different. They are the face of a movement that I take very seriously.

Sure Greg Graffin can be an arrogant, self centered prick sometimes, but I hear Jay Bently, Brooks Wackerman, and Brian Baker are down to earth guys who are great to the fans. I got a chance to meet Greg Hetson last year when the Circle Jerks opened for Pennywise in New York and I can tell you first hand he is the nicest guy you could ever hope to meet.

That's why I love this band; they simply are the best out there but you'd never know they are icons of a scene by talking to them (except for Graffin, maybe). They've been doing it forever and if it wasn't for them there wouldn't be all the MTV emo/pop/garbage we are bombarded with every day. Every ten year old kid who knows each My Chemical Romance song my heart and every sixteen year old girl who is obsessed with Good Charlotte or Yellowcard should personally thank Bad Religion because if not for these punk pioneers their makeup wearing idols would probably be wearing FUBU and trying to make it big in a boy band.

Warped Tour

Speaking of whiny, makeup wearing bitches, I cannot put into words how badly I hate most of the bands (and fans, for that matter) at the Warped Tour.

Last Saturday I personally attended the shit show when it made its annual stop in Salt Lake. Every year I tell myself there is no chance I will be within ten miles of music's most conspicuous hypocrisy (how can you have a corporately sponsored traveling music festival and try to sell it as punk rock?), but every year there is at least one or two bands that inevitably draw me to the Utah State Fairgrounds. This year it was Bad Religion and Pennywise. God only knows how long its been since Bad Religion came to Salt Lake and I would walk through Hell to see Pennywise play "Bro Hymn." Needless to say, missing either of these bands play is not an option for me.

We got there around noon or 1:00 and it was already scorching outside. Then, of course, we found out that both Pennywise and Bad Religion weren't scheduled to play until much, much later which meant we would have to kill about six hours in the blistering heat with thousands of dehydrated, under clothed and over sexed teenagers running around talking about their favorite X96 DJ and how great Panic At The Disco is live. If only I had a noose...

Regardless of the grim outlook, it actually ended up being a pretty good day. I was there with my favorite person, I bought the new Bad Religion disc before its release date, and Pennywise, despite only being allowed 30 minutes on stage, played one of the best sets I've ever seen them play. All that was worth putting up with the shitty bands and the grueling temperatures. I had a great day despite being at the Warped Tour.

P.S. If you are guy and wear tight pants or have hair like the period-inducing cry-babies to the right then please do the world a favor and change your clothes or just kill yourself now. In ten years these bands will be looked at in the same way people today look at Motley Crue or Twisted Sister. Its a fad. If the butt-rock metal of the 80's taught us anything it's that tight pants, make up, and girl hair sucks and doesn't have staying power. Everyone is laughing at you.

Other Stuff

There are a lot of other things I was planning on writing about but I'm getting tired of writing incoherent ramblings with no structure and little direction. Below is a list to remind myself of what I want to get to eventually, it only has meaning for me:

George Bush/Scooter Libby
Derek Fisher
Radio
Apathy vs. "Causenites"
Fiction
Music List

The World's Most Overrated Bands

2007-06-21T15:37:00.000-06:00

MSNBC's music critic Dave White recently wrote a column on MSNBC.com called "The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Lame" (see it here) in which he lists what he considers to be the most overrated bands ever. He states U2, Metallica, Nirvana, the Doors, the Clash, Bob Dylan, the Beatles and Sonic Youth are over hyped despite the fact that at one point or another he has or does like these bands (except the Doors).

To an extent I agree with him (except for Nirvana, if anything Kurt Cobain is underrated) and its about time someone said it. I'm sorry, but the Beatles and the Doors really aren't very good and although Bob Dylan is incredibly intelligent and insightful his music bores me. Maybe I'm just out of touch but most music from the 60's and 70's (with the exception of Pink Floyd) just lulls me to sleep and strikes me as empty, no matter how widely loved it might be.

Metallica was really good before they slowed down their guitars, got in bed with major labels and cut their hair. U2 has always been incredibly preachy and will never be in touch with their desired demographic.

I know because I like punk rock I'm supposed to have an extra raging hard on for the Clash and Sonic Youth but I really don't see what is punk about these bands. They both play new wave garbage that is just as irrelevant today as it was in the era from which they emerged and thrived.

While I'm on my high-horse let me offer some more bands that would have benefited the world if they never played a single note. First and foremost is the Smashing Pumpkins. I grew up in the 90's, at a time when bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots and Soundgarden were topping the charts and gaining my respect (mainly because all the kids at school were into them and I wanted to fit in; hey, it was junior high). I tried as hard as I could to listen to the Smashing Pumpkins for a long time but one day I just gave up trying. Billy Corrigan's whiny, piercing voice makes me want to bring my stereo into the bathtub with me while its still plugged into the wall.

This may surprise a lot of people but the Ramones and the Sex Pistols are at the top of my overrated list as well. I really respect what the Ramones did for the advancement punk rock and they have some great songs like Blitzkrieg Bop, Sheena Is A Punk Rocker, The Crusher and I Wanna Be Sedated but they also have others such as The KKK Took My Baby Away and Rock and Roll High School that are just embarrassing and juvenile. I don't think anything the Sex Pistols ever did was any good. They thrived on being rebels when really all they were was annoying and ignorant. Wearing swastika t-shirts isn't rebellious and it certainly isn't punk. If they would have put less energy into shocking people and more energy into making music they may have been more important and less of a sideshow.

There are a ton more bands out there that I would love to fall off the face of the Earth, but I'm already growing agitated just thinking about them. Hopefully I'll finish this piece up some day but probably not.

Steve Javie Is Corrupt

2007-05-30T09:33:00.000-06:00

My frustration level is through the roof. I feel cheated, ripped off, bullied. The worst part is knowing that the culprit who committed this injustice will certainly walk away, pardoned. Worse yet, those in charge, the ones sworn to protect from such travesties and preserve the integrity of everyone involved will, without doubt, turn their heads altogether in order to save face. How do I know? How am I so positive that justice will not be served? Because it has happened countless times before; because the topic at hand is the NBA and they screw everything up.

Two nights ago in the arena formally known as the Delta Center the Utah Jazz hosted the San Antonio Spurs in game 4 of the western conference finals. The Jazz came into the game trailing in the series two games to one. Although they did not look very good at times Utah played hard, but unfortunately for them so did San Antonio. Most of the second half was close and the entire game was exciting (despite the Spurs building a fairly sizable lead in the second quarter). It was shaping up to be a hell of a finish, a close knit game featuring the little guy (Utah) trying to stage an unlikely comeback against the juggernaut that is San Antonio.

Unfortunately the possible playoff dream ending never happened because the Spurs had an advantage named Steve Javie.

I don't know what it is but Javie, a veteran NBA referee, was always had a problem with the Jazz. He is well respected throughout the league but Jazz fans know if he is officiating one of their games Utah is not going to get a fair shake. They may not lose them all, but you can just assume that Javie will all but be wearing the opposing teams jersey. I have never heard of such an obvious bias in a referee in any sport and what is even more shocking is that nothing has been done to curtail it (publicly, at least) by a league that has long suffered rumors of corruption and problems of character.

With about ten minutes until tip off I had already turned myself into a nervous wreck by obsessing over the challenge of going up against what I consider to be the best team in the league in what would probably be a must win game 4. So when I saw Javie's wanna-be gangster, slicked back hair and his ever present, contempt-filled smirk standing next to Carlos Boozer I almost keeled over from a heart attack. It was at that moment I knew that for the next forty eight minutes the Jazz would be playing five guys against eight.

I figured the Javie and his crew's officiating would be bad, but nothing I have ever seen in ten years of watching the NBA could have prepared me for just how one sided it would be. I won't go into details because it is just too infuriating and it raises my blood pressure to dangerous levels, but its important to understand that the Jazz never stood a chance. Every time they would make a run Stevie-J would call a phantom offensive foul or not call a Tony Parker hack. The only thing I can think of that comes even remotely close to what happened in game 4 is the officiating in the Super Bowl featuring the Seahawks and Steelers. Still, though, that doesn't even touch the injustice that was done to the Utah Jazz.

What really, REALLY gets me about this whole thing is that Joey Crawford, another veteran NBA ref, was publicly reprimanded and then suspended for the rest of the season and post season for something comparatively minor. Crawford, in a mid April game, gave Tim Duncan his second technical foul when Duncan, from the bench, laughed at a call that went against the Spurs. For that Crawford was punished harshly. For the utter disregard Javie showed to the integrity of the game Monday night he should get at least the same punishment, if not worse. Unfortunately what should happen and what will happen are probably two very different things.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not placing blame for Utah's loss solely on the shoulders of the referees. The Jazz should have been mentally tough enough to fight through the barrage of whistles blown at them. A championship team would have found a way to get past it and beat the odds. If the roles were reversed I honestly believe the Spurs would have done a better job keeping their heads in the game and they may have still pulled out the victory. I certainly don't want to take anything away from San Antonio, they played better and in the end deserved the win. I do believe, however, that it would have been a much different game had the referees been on the level. Is it so much to ask for a fair game?

As a Jazz fan, all I can do now is watch game 5 tonight and hope somehow my team will find enough drive and determination to win and extend this series at least one more game.

GO JAZZ!!!!

New Maps Of Hell

2007-05-15T11:05:00.000-06:00

I heard two songs off the new Bad Religion album. HEEEELLLLLL YEEEEEEAH!!

They kick so much ass. Can't wait for its release.

May 14, 2006

2007-05-14T13:48:00.000-06:00

It was a Sunday, Mother's Day. I was in New York visiting family. That morning I was helping my brother move out of his apartment in Manhattan when I got the phone call that shattered the foundations of my life.

Austin Lyle was my best friend. As important as that label is to me it seems like a gross understatement. Over the last year I have unsuccessfully tried to think of better, more accurate ways to verbalize just how much admiration, how much respect and how strong a sense of camaraderie and companionship I felt towards Austin. Maybe it was because I knew him since we were little tykes playing tetherball and soccer during recess in the first grade or maybe it was because he was one of the few friends I never lost complete touch with when I moved away in the fourth grade, but for some reason calling him my "best friend" just doesn't seem to cut it. I always saw he and his brother, Adam, as family, but closer than family. The words I am searching for still escape me, but the point is I felt a bond with Austin that was indescribably strong and, to me, was very special.

I am not the only one who felt that way, however. Through talking to people who knew Austin I have come to realize that each and every one that he touched feels a similar bond. He had the uncanny and unmatched ability to make people feel good about themselves. He made people laugh, he brought out the best in them and he made them feel important. He made friends easily and kept each and every one close to his heart. Once you were his friend you were family and Austin would be there at a moments notice, no questions asked. I can’t even tell about the countless times life got rough and Austin dropped everything to lift my spirits and get me through the rocky times. Whether it was taking me out for beers or having me over to watch America’s Funniest Home Videos (there’s something about seeing guys get hit in the nuts with hard, blunt objects that always brings a smile to my face) he always knew how to cheer me up.

I knew Austin meant a lot to a lot of people but I had no idea just how many people he touched. When he died (one year ago today) the outpour of concern, kinship, grief, and support was overwhelming (in the most positive sense of the word). The amount of people that attended his services rivaled what I imagine would be the attendance of a rock star's funeral. He meant so much to countless people and that is a testament to his character. You could not ask for a better person to be associated with and I am convinced that you would never find a person who is a better brother, son or friend.

That fateful Mother's Day proved to be a dark, dark day; there is no doubt in my mind that Austin made the world a better and happier place. He loved to laugh and smile and absolutely adored making others do the same. He had a quick wit and an infectious sense of humor. When Austin was in a crowded room there was never a shortage of smiles and it was nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.

His popularity was more far reaching then I ever imagined. I considered him to be my closest friend for just over 18 years and to this day I still meet people, strangers to me, who knew him. His magnetic personality drew people to him and stayed in people's minds; he was nearly impossible to forget.

Another one of Austin's unique gifts was to bring people together. Some of the best friends I have today are people he introduced me to. In that sense his death was much like his life. When he passed away dozens and dozens and dozens of people gathered together to share stories and laugh about all the good times. While it was officially called a Celebration of Life, it was, in a small way, a party and that is exactly how Austin would have wanted it. I remember years ago he told me that he wanted his funeral to be a kegger, one big party with people having a good time instead of focusing on their negative emotions. Well obviously it wouldn't be a kegger, but I would say what happened was as close to his wish as possible. Everyone whom he touched in his life gathered to focus on how wonderful he was and how much he meant to us all.

Austin Lyle was one of the best people I have ever known. His loyalty was uncanny and I have never seen that quality so prevalent and strong in anyone else I have ever met. He was a great example to everyone and I have made it a personal goal to be more like him in the way I treat the people I care about. I miss him now more than ever and I still cannot believe it has been a year since he passed away. I, much like everyone who knew him, will hold him in my heart until the day I die. Life has not been the same without him and I can't imagine it ever will be. If I had one more chance to speak to him I would thank him for all the great times and for always being there.

I once read a quote (I'm not sure who said it) that said: "Real friends are the people that are there with you when the good times aren't." I cannot think of a better way to describe Austin. He was a real friend which is something I have come to find is not all that common. I feel lucky and blessed to have known him and had him a part of my life. I miss you, Austin!

Austin Andrew Lyle
March 18, 1981 - May 14, 2006

Game 4

2007-04-30T11:48:00.000-06:00

Life is good when the Jazz win playoff games...very good.

Game 4 was the game Utah has been waiting for all series long. D-Will found his shot (he had 25 points on 10-14 shooting), Memo seems to be settling into a rhythm, and Boozer took it to the basket more often.

For the first time this series and in over a month the Utah Jazz looked damn good.

We have improved in each game so far which is the best news I've heard all season. We came into the playoffs cold and out of sync. I'm not sure exactly what the problem was but the team just seemed frazzled, confused, and hectic. Now we have a few "high intensity" games under our belt and we look more comfortable and a hell of a lot more confident. With such limited playoff experience on the roster confidence needs to be the biggest psychological asset the Jazz have if there is any hope in defeating a hungy Rockets team.

After winning a few big games it is too easy to feel a sense of invincibility. Confidence is good, but overconfidence can be a death sentence. Sure the Utah blew Houston out in game 4, but tonight the Jazz are going into an incredibly hostile environment and we have to face the fact that we struggle on the road.

If we are going to win this series we have to win tonight. I just don't see us going into Houston for a game 7 and getting the win. There will be way too much emotion in that building and it will be very easy for our young squad to fall into the intimidation trap. No, we have to get it done tonight. If we don't you can kiss our season goodbye.

I am so excited and nervous that I can't get my thoughts straight. Since I am having such a hard time focusing and because this could be my worse piece of writing ever I'm going to cut this short. All I'm going to say is in order for us to win tonight D-Will needs to take over like he did in game 4. If he struggles he'll be breaking out his golf clubs soon.

GO JAZZ!!!!!!!!

Game 3

2007-04-27T11:23:00.000-06:00

What a difference a game can make. Well, the Jazz won game 3 which is HUGE, but we are still in a hole. Listening to sports radio and talking to people around town you would think that we were up 3-1 and trying to close out the series. Everyone is acting as if all the trouble is in the rear view mirror and we are going to coast into the second round. These are the same people who, just yesterday, were talking about getting swept. I think its safe to say that, if nothing else, the momentum has shifted.

Ok, ok, I will be the first to admit that I bought into the whole doomsday, end of the (basketball) world mentality. Just read my last entry, it oozes negativity and hopelessness. While I think I was a little extreme in my pessimism I still don't think my perception of the situation was that far from reality. Going into game 3 the Jazz were in trouble and had few positives to take from the two losses in Houston. They came back to Salt Lake bruised, battered and emotionally broken.

After winning game 3 the trouble is still there, but the severity of it is reduced. We are half way out of the hole but nevertheless still in a hole. Its not going to be easy to climb out, either. There is no doubt the Rockets are going to come out swinging in game 4; they will be going for the knockout. They want to finish it off back in Houston. If they are going to win in Utah it has to be Game 4.

Here are positives and negatives I took from last night's game:

First the negatives.

Memhet Okur sucks. Ok, maybe that's an over-generalization, especially considering he played in the all-star game, but during the playoffs he has played worse than a blind, retarded monkey.
We couldn't execute when we needed too. I say "couldn't" instead of "didn't" because we tried, but Houston's defense was stifling about mid way through the 4th quarter. As a result we threw up bad jumpers and turned the ball over. Luckily the Rockets were ice cold and couldn't hit anything.
Boozer is settling for jump shots. When he makes them he is unstopable but when he is cold, man oh man is he cold. I don't understand why he doesn't use his strength to his advantage and power the ball down low more often. Instead of going for the higher percentage shot and getting more oportunities to score from the foul line he'll stand fifteen feet out and shoot a jumper. He could muscle almost anyone for position down low, he needs to take advantage of that.
We have yet to play consistantly well. In game 3 the Jazz played much better, but it was still subpar. Offensively we struggled tremendously at times. Defensively we were fairly solid but also benefited from Houston's bad luck. Most people would look at the Rockets being held to 67 points with only four players getting on the scoreboard and assume the Jazz locked down on defense. To an extent they would be right. But they had tons of really good, uncontested looks at the basket that simply didn't fall. I can remember Juwan Howard getting at least 4 wide open shots that just rimmed out. The same happened to Shane Battier and Luther Head.

Now the positives.

Andrei Kirilenko guarded McGrady. Its about damn time!!!! If A.K. isn't guarding T-Mac then there is no reason to have him on the floor. Period. Jerry Sloan finally woke up, but the fact that it took him two full games to do so is troublesome.
A.K., although he didn't have an outstanding game, looked more alive than he has all year. His numbers were not impressive but if you watched him you could see the difference. He was productive (in a non-factor sort of way).
Paul Millsap: 9 points on 4-4 shooting. Did I mention Yao was guarding him? He made the 7'6" Houston center look like the Rookie.
The Jazz kept their composure and fought through Houston's runs in the second half. This is something that we have not done all series not to mention the last month of the season. We made a habit of giving up when things got close. Last night guys were diving for lose balls, making the extra pass and not giving up on plays. That's why Utah had 12 steals and forced the Rockets into 19 total turnovers.

There were more negatives and positives I noticed but those were the ones that really struck me as most important. I'm not going to make a prediction for game 4 because I really have no idea what's going to happen. I know I picked the Jazz to win last night and then lose the next two but after seeing fire in them down the stretch I think anything is possible. I know this is cliche and sounds insincere but in all honestly I think it will come down to who wants it more, to who has the greater desire and intensity.

Go Jazz!!!!

Drunken Mavericks

2007-04-25T11:31:00.000-06:00

The Jazz may be playing awful, but at least they are not making asses of themselves like these two superstars. No wonder the Mavericks could never win a title.

Here's my personal favorite:

Real classy, Dirk. Aren't Germans supposed to be able to hold their booze?

AAAARRRRRGGGHGGHGGHHHH!!!!!!

2007-04-25T10:35:00.000-06:00

Ok, I couldn't have been more wrong with my predictions for the Jazz in the last post. I just re-read it for the first time since I posted it and let just say I'm not quite as positive as I was on April 5. This season's Jazz have been a bigger disappointment then any other Jazz team I have ever seen. We started out with the best record in the league and were consistantly coming through in the clutch and beating down the NBA's best. During the last month of the season we were consistantly being bitch slapped by the NBA's worst (even at home).

In the last post I was excited to just be in the playoffs again. Now I'm trying to decide which is worse, being in the playoffs (on a national stage) and playing as pathetically putrid as the team is or not making the playoffs and getting a lottery pick.

We blew any chance of getting home court advantage by basically quitting during the last few weeks of the season. We lost a few games we shouldn't have and the whole team felt sorry for themselves and stopped putting forth effort. That, mixed with Jerry Sloan's inability to make intelligent, logical coaching decisions in clutch situations, set us up for absolute failure. That's the momentum we took into the playoffs. Great.

Here's the current situation. We are down 0-2 to a tough Houston team, Memo is playing awful and Kirilenko is, literally, crying about his playing time. Although it is good that we are coming home for the next two games, we are in such a state of turmoil and have dug such a tremendous hole that I just don't see us getting out of this series. In fact, we will be lucky if we can send the series back to Houston.

I think there's little doubt (based on how we have played so far this series, not to mention the last month of the season) that the Rockets will win the series. If the Jazz win a game it will be game 3. But if the Jazz lose that game then break out the brooms because we'll be looking at a sweep. If they do win that game, however, then the chance of winning game 4 will bump up from none to slim.

I'm going to go out on a limb and believe that my team will win at least one game in this lop-sided series. The Jazz will win game 3 but will lose games 4 and 5. My prediction: the Rockets over the Jazz in 5 games.

Oh well, at least the Lakers are down 0-2 and the Mavericks are down 0-1 to the Warriors (THE FREAKIN' WARRIORS!!).

The Blazers?!?!?!?!

2007-04-05T10:13:00.000-06:00

How in Muhammed Bhudda Allah Christ's name do the Jazz lose to the Blazers? This team is starting to kill me with its inconsistency. We've beat the Spurs twice, the Mavericks twice and the Suns three times yet we get stomped like women by the NBA's junior varsity teams. We recently went on a 4 game eastern road trip and lost every freakin' game!

The worst news is that five of our last eight games are against playoff teams or teams making a run at the playoffs. That means they are hungry and pumped and ready to rip our damn heads off if we don't execute and get back on defense. The only thing that lowers my blood pressure ever so slightly is that we are only on the road for three of those games and home for five. We play well at home for the most part, the players really feed off the crowd (especially considering this year the Delta Center [I know it has a new name but it will always be the D.C. to me] is back to being an incredibly difficult place to play for visiting teams, its amazing how fast winning will get the bandwagon fans back in the seats and screaming until their voices are hoarse).

I don't know if the team is exhausted from a long season or if they just get lazy but I am incredibly nervous yet excited for the rest of the regular season. The race with Houston for home court advantage in the first round and the inconsistency of both teams topped with the fact that we play them the last game of the year has created drama so thick its difficult to breath. This is why I love sports and I am just greatful that finally, after three years of no post season play, the Jazz are back in the playoffs. I can already feel the electricity.

To make matters even more nerve racking, Houston's schedule the rest of the way is nearly a cake walk. Of the remaining seven games they only play 2 playoff teams (Utah and Phoenix). The Rockets should walk through all but one or two of the remaining games and, with the Jazz set to play the best teams in the league, right into home court advantage in the first round. Utah needs to for the first time since the beginning of the season start playing consistantly great or we don't have a prayer.

We need, and I mean need homecourt advantage if we want to even have a shot at getting past Houston. This season we are 19-19 on the road and I would say we should have a worse record than that. At home in the D.C. its a different story: 29-7 (third best in the league). The road Jazz and the home Jazz are like two completely different teams. One is an at best .500 team that doesn't execute or put forth much effort, gets rattled easily and gives up when things get difficult. The other is potentially the best or second best team in the NBA (don't laugh, when they are on their game NO ONE can beat them), stuns its opponents with precision in execution, always continues to fight no matter how bad the situation and trimphs over adversity.

With our post season inexperience we need every single advantage we can get and securing home court for at least the first round is a HUGE one. If we can do that and that leads to us winning the series then we have made an enormous stride from last year and have a large, solid stepping stone to build on next season. Barring injuries or other unforseen issues the Utah Jazz will be in contention for a title within three to four years. Look how far this team has come by staying healthy. The Jazz have an enormous amount of talent and court smarts, if Jerry Sloan can harness it all and relate to the players in a positive way (which, no doubt, is not one of Sloan's strengths) then there is not much that will stop them. Watch out, Dallas, we're coming for you and we're going to take Dirk Dipshitski's head.

Predictions
Ok I know I tried this before and I didn't follow through with it but I will this time, I promise.

x = incorrect prediction, o = correct prediction
Date Opponent My Prediction My Record
4-6-07 x @Sacramento W 0-1
4-7-07 Seattle x W 0-2
4-9-07 @ o Golden State L 1-2
4-11-07 x Denver W 1-3
4-13-07 x @ Dallas L 1-4
4-14-07 o Phoenix L 2-4
4-16-07 o Portland W 3-4
4-18-07 x Houston L 3-5

Playoff prediction
This is really premature but here's what my early thoughts are:
Houston will come into the Delta Center (I'm going to call it that until I die!) tied with Utah with a record of 52-29. Although both teams have clinched playoff spots will be the biggest game either team has played in years. Having home court advantage very well could (and, in all honesty, probably will) decide who wins the series. Man I love this! An entire season could come down to one game! How intense is that?

This will be a hard fought game and the crowd at the D.C. will be a huge asset to the Jazz, but Utah's inability to guard the two and the perimeter will be what pushes the Rockets to victory. T-Mac will go OFF, I can see him putting up close to 40 in this game.

So the Rockets will get home court which is going to hurt the Jazz immensly. The series will go 6 or 7 games but not having the security of our home floor when we really need it will end Utah's season in the first round.

Hell, at least we made the playoffs!

This is the greatest news ever......freakin' EVER!!

2007-04-03T18:04:00.000-06:00

PunkNews.org reported yesterday that Bad Religion finished recording their new album New Maps Of Hell. Now they just have to mix it and the release date is set for July 10, 2007 (who knows if that will be pushed back further down the road). This is the best news I've heard since 2004 when I heard that The Empire Strikes First was going to be released. Its about damn time, I can't take this 3 years between releases they've been putting me through the last decade.

The best part is that over the span of their last 3 albums they have improved, big time. Remember The Gray Race, No Substance and The New America? Remember how everyone was saying Bad Religion had lost it, were going down the shitter and were old men who couldn't relate to punk today? Then they blasted out The Process Of Belief and ripped all our faces off with its greatness. Then Empire came out and did it all over again. Right when all you skeptics and haters out there thought Bad Religion was slipping into mediocrity and old age they put out two albums that raised the bar set by Suffer and Against The Grain and rocked like the 15 year old punks they once were. And if you ask me Maps is going to kick just as much (if not more) ass than anything they've done before.

Bummer...(warning, you you might get extremely bored)

2007-03-29T15:35:00.000-06:00

When I was really, really young my grandfather (R.I.P., see below post) taught me to say "I can do anything if I am positive." He was so proud of the wisdom he instilled in his grandson, so full of promise and potential, that when company would come over he would have me recite to them the saying while he would smile with his head held high.

For him, I'm sure, that was a great time. I was so young and had my whole life in front of me. Who knew what I might do? I might go to law school and become a lawyer or a politician or I might end up a bigwig wall street type with a fancy suite and luxury car. There was no telling what great things I, carrying his namesake, would accomplish down the road. One thing was for certain, he had taught me the power of positive thinking and with that on my side nothing could deter me from my destined greatness!

Now lets fast forward about 25 or 26 years.

The same toe-headed, rosy cheeked toddler has grown up and now stands and watches as two strangers seal an urn containing his grandfather's ashes into a rock to be forever placed near a gorgeous yet artificial waterfall under the Southern California sun.

To be honest I don't remember exactly what was going through my head as I witnessed this conspicuously insincere "ceremony" take place but my overall mood of the day will be cemented in my brain until long after my heart stops beating. In fact, almost a month later, that mood has rarely left me. I can't shake this sense of uncertainty. Have I lived up to his expectations? Is he proud of or disappointed in me? Have I accomplished what he wanted me to? And most importantly: do I deserve to carry on his name?

I guess these might be questions that everyone asks themselves after experiencing a loss like this but I really can't seem to come to any sort of conclusion, I can't help but feel unsettled and maybe a little scared of what the answers might be.

There is no doubt that I have become somewhat cynical in recent years but I think a moderate amount of cynicism is healthy. But have I become too much so? When I sit back and analyze myself I really cannot get a straight sense of whether or not I am a pessimist, realist, or optimist. How can someone seriously have no idea of the kind of person they are at their core? I mean usually one should have at the very least a vague sense of their outlook on the world, even if its subconscious, right? I really cannot get any gauge on myself, however, and it is starting to worry me. Am I avoiding the truth of the matter which leads me to uncertainty? I hope not.

Anyway, I apologize for the introspection and sappy content of this post. It happens I guess.

Allen Phillip Martindale...

2007-03-29T15:27:00.000-06:00

Goodbye, Grandpa. I love you, miss you, and sincerely hope that you will rest in peace. You were an incredible mentor to many (more than you know) and were unwavering in your integrity. If I can be half the man you were then I will be satisfied. The world is a much better place because you were in it. It is comforting to know you are in good company on the other side.

Allen Phillip Martindale
May 11, 1931 - March 5, 2007

Boozer's out, my predictions

2007-02-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

Of all the good big men in the league, the Jazz get the one with glass legs.

You guessed it, Carlos Boozer is hurt.

I'm not positive but I think its a bruised knee that's sidelining him this time. Whatever it is, its an injury that usually takes 4-6 weeks to recover from. If you would have asked me a week ago what that meant for the Jazz I would have told you it was serious trouble. Even though the team's schedule in the upcoming weeks is fairly weak they were barely playing .500 ball and were consistantly loosing to inferior opponents with Boozer in the lineup. What could they possibly do sans the team's sole all-star?

Assuming Boozer would be out the rest of the year (I know its a stretch but come on, we're talking about Carlos Boozer here; he could be out one month for a hang-nail) I went through the remaining Jazz schedule and made my predictions. I had them going 17-19 and only 4-12 on the road. That would leave them with a season record of 45-37, still good enough to make the playoffs but who knows if that would be good enough for home court advantage in the first round.

But then Utah beat San Antonio, Phoenix and Chicago in its first three games without Boozer. Yes you read that right: San Antonio, Phoenix and Chicago WITHOUT Boozer. The team that has struggled to find its identity and solidify its rightful spot among the leagues contenders beat arguably the best team in the Eastern Conference and two of the three best from the Western Conference. And they beat the Suns in Phoenix to take a 3-0 season series lead. Who could have imagined that the same team that lost to the Grizzlies, Sonics, Warriors, Bobcats, and Knicks also gave the Suns 3 of their 10 losses. Trust me, I'm just as baffled as anybody.

Although I picked them to beat the Bulls, I did have them losing to the Spurs and Suns. So far I'm 1-2, but I'm still going to stick with my predictions and even post them here so I am accountable for them. Keep in mind I made these picks assuming that Boozer would not be playing. When (or should I say 'If'?) he recovers from his injury I'll redo them.

(updated February 23, 2007)
x = incorrect prediction, o = correct prediction
Date Opponent My Prediction My record
1-31-07 x Spurs L 0-1
2-3-07 x @Suns L 0-2
2-5-07 o Bulls W 1-2
2-10-07 o Knicks W 2-2
2-12-07 o Hawks W 3-2
2-14-07 x Cavaliers L 3-3
2-20-07 x @Trailblazers W 3-4
2-23-07 @Nuggets L
2-24-07 Celtics W
2-26-07 Lakers L
2-28-07 Grizzlies W
3-2-07 @Timberwolves L
3-4-07 @Hornets W
3-5-07 Bobcats W
3-7-07 Pacers W
3-10-07 Hornets W
3-13-07 @Heat L
3-14-07 @Magic L
3-16-07 @76ers W
3-17-07 @Cavaliers L
3-20-07 Warriors W
3-23-07 @Clippers L
3-24-07 Grizzlies W
3-26-07 Wizzards L
3-28-07 Timberwolves W
3-30-07 @Spurs L
4-1-07 @Rockets L
4-4-07 @Trailblazers W
4-6-07 @Kings L
4-7-07 Sonics W
4-9-07 @Warriors L
4-11-07 Nuggets L
4-13-07 @Mavericks L
4-14-07 Suns L
4-16-07 Trailblazers W
4-18-07 Rockets L

Predicted Home w/o Boozer: 13-7
Predicted Away w/o Boozer: 4-12
Predicted Record w/o Boozer: 17-19

Don't be an idiot

2007-01-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

I got this e-flyer from a bulletin someone left on myspace. First off let me say that I am very against the war in Iraq; sending teenagers to die for the profits made on a pipeline used to harvest oil is so wrong and so evil that there are no words that can be used to describe just how bad an act it is.

That aside, I don't understand what these people are trying to accomplish by participating in this "Community Speak-Out" (lets just call it what it is, a more organized than usual protest). Maybe I'm just ignorant to the process of this type of event. Maybe if they get enough people in attendance it will somehow get to our representatives in Washington and then a real, valid initiative can begin to stop this ongoing tragedy. If that's what this protest is going to do then I apologize for the rant I am about to inflict upon you.

If I was a betting man, however, I would put my money on this protest serving no other purpose than giving the participants a false sense of accomplishment. By attending this "Speak-Out" they can say to themselves (and anyone else who dares question their actions) "Well, at least I'm doing something about this!"

But just what exactly are they doing? Here's what I think is going to happen on Saturday, January 27 at 2:00 p.m. at the library in downtown Salt Lake City (keep in mind this is only speculation, I have never attended this type of thing; I would prefer to do nothing than to do something that will only get me on some secret government watch list that taps my phone and tracks all my credit card purchases. If I actually thought this protest would help get anything done I might risk all that and attend, however):

A lot of people will show up at the library, already fuming with rage over the war. The moderator will stand up and thank everyone for coming because this is a great cause and blah, blah, blah, blah, empty rhetoric, blah, blah, promise that they are making a difference, blah, blah, blah, no more violence, blah, blah. Then the celebrity speaker Terry Tempest Williams (who, all sarcasm aside, really is a talented writer) will get up and everyone will whisper to each other "That's so great that she is here," "she's so noble for taking on this cause," or "I bet she has a really deep view on this, she's an amazing author," even though no one has any idea who the hell she is. She'll talk for way too long and most people will zone out even though they will try really, really hard to look like they are listening. Then a few Iraq veterans will speak, which will probably be the most moving and valid moments of the whole day. At some point some lady will talk about how her husband or son or brother is in Iraq and how it has affected her life. You can also count on the president of the University of Utah's Muslim Student Association to talk about how not all Muslims are terrorists and how his people are against this war (stuff we all already know but, nonetheless, needs to be said at every single protest or it couldn't really be called a protest). There will be more speakers but they are probably not worth discussing. The meeting will close at which point a lot of the attendees will proceed outside to smoke cigarettes and talk about how great they felt that they were a part of this. Sure, many speakers will preach ways to help end the war but its all been said before and has not shown any results whatsoever.

So, in summary, what will go down is a hell of a lot of talk and no action. Excellent, I was starved for something to write about.

I don't have a method that will work better than this event and I haven't done anything to change what's going on in the Middle East other than cast my vote each and every election day. But I also don't go to things like these and tell myself my attendance will do any bit of good. I'm pretty awesome but not even I am that arrogant.

The last thing I'm going to mention before your prayers are answered and I finally shut up is about Marshall Thompson, one of the people listed to speak at this event. Apparently from the flyer above he is an Iraq veteran who happened to walk across the state of Utah "in call to withdraw U.S. troops." Lets get one thing straight right here and now, he did not walk that far to bring the troops home. No one could be so dumb to think that its actually going to work. He did it to get noticed. Maybe he was genuinely trying to draw attention to his cause but I doubt it. He was probably pissed off, and justifiably so, that he had to go to that shit-hole country for a bogus cause and got little or no appreciation for his sacrifice. So he thought up some scheme to gain some notoriety. Unfortunately for he and his cause I don't think it worked too well. Had you heard of him before reading this blog? That's what I thought. I have already forgotten his name.

I'm sorry if I've offended anyone (but not really). The day that George Bush says "Wait, wait, wait...bring the troops home, people in Utah are gathering in a library and walking across the state in protest of this war," then I will personally get on my knees and kiss the feet of every single person who attends this event and literally offer my most heart felt apology to each and every one. Until that day, however, I will be the first to tell you that it is a waste of time and resources. Why don't you try writing your congressman instead? You're no more likely to get results doing that but at least you won't waste an entire Saturday afternoon.

I can't stand Tom Brady

2007-01-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

Its about time all Mass-holes out there got a dose of reality. Tom Brady is not God, Belichick is a poor loser and an even worse human being and Peyton Manning really is better than your good 'ol #12.

I can't stand the Patriots and their arrogant sense of entightlement. I could never root for a player like Tom Brady who looks constantly bored and shows no emotion. He does his job the way a good CPA does taxes, he's cordial, consistant and most of the time gets the job done. Is watching a CPA crunch numbers entertaining? Of course not. Until the day comes one jumps into the air, spikes his calculator to the ground and screams "YES! I found another deduction!" I am not going to watch it. Sure, a lot of people enjoy watching Brady play but personally I just don't like football that much.

I have seen countless playoff games when he makes a huge play and each time his reaction (or should I say lack of reaction) is the same. He casually stumbles up to the line of scrimmage or the sideline like he just got out of bed and you're lucky if you see a small and subtle fist pump. *Yawn* Part of the fun for me in watching this game is seeing how excited or upset the players get. Emotion is a key part of any sport and even though he gets the job done Brady's apathetic demeanor turns me off to him and his team. It makes him seem to think he is above the emotion and the game. He also seems to think that no matter what happens on any given play the Patriots will win because they are entightled to it.

These assumptions may be way off target, but, as a fan of sports in general, I am allowed to think I know everything. Not only is that my right but that is my obligation.

Now, on the other side of the spectrum is Peyton Manning. I was never a huge fan of him because his brother and father think they can change the rules of the league. That's not Peyton's fault though and I've learned not to let the grudge I hold towards Eli and Archie Manning affect my opinion of the Colts quaterback too much (although sometimes its hard to forget that old saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"). Watching Peyton play, however is very entertaining.

Like Brady he is tremendous at what he does. Unlike Brady, however, Manning seems to enjoy playing the game. When he hits an open man for a big gain in the clutch he smiles and jumps around and yells at the top of his lungs. And when he has come up short (as he has so many times) he buries his face in his hands and looks truly disappointed.

That is what the game is about, emotion. Its about rolling with the punches and reacting to the situation. Whether you win or lose, don't let the emotion of the outcome wash over you completely because that's when it stops being a game and starts being work.

I'm going to set q-tips on fire and aim for my eardrums

2007-01-17T10:55:00.001-07:00

I have a pet peeve that I've always had but just never knew it until recently. Morning show DJ's drive me insane. Most DJ's are ok, I guess (its hard to be too annoying when your job is composed of saying nothing more than "Green Day, Jay-Z, and the new one from Hootie and the Blowfish when we come back" and "Traffic is brought to you by Summer's Eve. When you get that not so fresh feeling but your hot date is knocking at the door reach for Summer's Eve!"), but those assholes in the morning need to be shot. What is it about these wake up programs that requires the most obnoxious, irritating and intellectually challenged people to be its hosts? Whether you're listening to Scooter and the Morning Komedy Krew or Rick, Jacob, Jesse, Christy, Fred, Charlie, Bongo and the Wacky Wake-Up Bunch you're hearing all the same garbage.

A few weeks ago I awoke to "Radio From Hell with Kerry, Bill and Gina" (oh what a counter culture and daring title for a show in Utah!) blaring from my alarm clock. I usually hit the snooze button immediately but this particular morning I was feeling rested and actually ready to get out of bed (I know, Hell has probably frozen over) so I kept the radio on as I got up. I'd heard Kerry, Bill and Gina a few brief times before (the key word here is brief). All three of them sound as if they have their noses plugged when they talk and its difficult to determine whether Kerry is a man or a woman. Listening to them literally almost causes pain in my ears so I have never heard more than a few short minutes of "Radio From Hell." I thought I'd try and give them another shot despite the fact they are on Utah's worst station ever (I'm sorry but the Smashing Pumkins are awful so stop playing them every other song!).

When my alarm went off they were discussing "things that must go." This is a segment in which they list off trivial things that bug them. Not a bad premise, if you ask me; its a good way to kill 8-10 minutes of air time. However, some of the things that they complain about are so stupid I have to choke down the vomit they make rise in my throat. One of Bill's "things that must go" was (I swear to everything holy this is true, I'm not making this up) the word "perfect." He apparently doesn't like it when people use this word as a response. You know what I mean, just picture a typical office conversation between a boss and his employee:
"Johnson did you get those reports faxed to the client?"
"Sure did, boss."
"Perfect!"
Maybe its just me but I don't see what is so annoying about this. The only thing annoying here is the morning dj who is forced to come up with pet peeves to bitch about on the radio every week or two weeks or however often it is they do this schtick.

A few days later I kept the show on while I was in the shower and happened to catch their special guest "The Love Psychic." She was there to take calls and then read her "mysterious" tarot cards to tell callers what the future held for their love lives. This didn't happen. Basically what went down was people called up the show and Kerry, Bill and Gina, because they love the sound of their voices so much, made fun of the callers and gave their half assed advice making sure to let "The Love Psychic" get in little more than a few sentences. And what did the cards say about the future for these poor, love-sick folks? Nothing. When asked about what she read the "psychic" simply spouted off advice that a retarded monkey could give and made no mention whatsoever as to what the future held. What a crock of shit. Wouldn't you think that if you have someone on your show specifically to predict the future that they would actually do it? I mean, come on, say something about it, anything. Make something up if you don't know for sure. Give the listeners what you promised. Needless to say I felt ripped off.

I have a feeling even if I tried with every bit of will I could muster I wouldn't be able to get through an entire show of "Radio From Hell" without ripping my ears off. But the sad thing is this program is not much different from any other radio morning show out there. The only thing missing from what I heard are the crank calls and wacky sound effects. I just don't get the appeal of this form of "entertainment," but I am just one person and these programs have been going strong for years and years. It basically boils down to the fact that, in general, Americans are stupid (if you disagree just look at the imbecile we elected as our president...twice) and as long as there are people who will never tire of the same old fart jokes and will laugh at the degredation of others these shows aren't going anywhere. Am I saying that I am smarter or better than the people who find them entertaining? At the risk of sounding arrogant I'm going to say...probably.

Jazz vs. Sonics

2007-01-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

I'm at my dad's place in New Jersey watching the Jazz play the Sonics in Seattle on NBA League Pass. The guys calling the game are the Sonics commentators and it is a terrible production. I'm not in television and I don't know how the production of a basketball game goes, but I would think that priority number one would be to show each and every shot taken, including every free throw. Fox Sports Netowork Northwest (the station airing the game) has missed at least 4 or 5 baskets by the Jazz. Not to mention they worry so much about getting a close up of Nick Collison that they missed Gordan Giricek shooting a couple from the charity stripe. And then they do the thing that I can't stand more than anything. They go to the camera angle directly under the basket. Instead of getting a nice, clean high up view of guards cutting and forwards setting picks all you can see is a jumbled mess of skin and jerseys as the players struggle for position and fight for the ball. After Kirilenko stripped Ray Allen on the Sonics end of the court he and Deron Williams charged to the other side in fast break formation. Fox Sports Northwest cut to the down low, under the basket angle. After that all I could see was Kirilenko pass down low to Williams and Deron attempt a lay up. What I didn't see was some unidentified Sonic come from behind and block the shot. It was arguably the biggest play of the game and we didn't see it because someone on the Fox Sports Northwest production staff thinks that low camera angle looks good. AARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The press box view has proved time and again to be the most effective way to broadcast games of all sports. Stick to what works!!

Now that I've got that off my chest I can move on. Every time I watch the Sonics play I am just astounded by Ray Allen. The dude is incredible. Sure he's getting up there in age but, damn, he is a player. That's why they picked him as the lead for a movie called He Got Game. There are no words in the english language that you could use to better describe his abilities. He had a career night in points tonight so needless to say he was in the zone; watching Ray Allen play basketball while he's in the zone is like watching God create a new world. Its what he does and no one on that court will do it better than him. He is, by far, the most underrated player in the league (and could be one of the most underrated ever).

I wish I could have enjoyed seeing him play the game he did. Instead I had to suffer in agony as he single handedly destroyed the Jazz. Utah's up by three with little more than 12 seconds left. You know its going to Ray Ray, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't even a second option. Jerry Sloan (for once) made a good clutch decision by putting Kirilenko (arguably the best defender in the league) on him but it wouldn't have mattered if you put all top five defenders on him at once, he was in the zone and he was going to make that shot. End of story. So he hit from behind the arc and sent the game into overtime, in which he again pulverized a star struck Utah Jazz (he had help from, who I have come to regard as the worst clutch coach in history, Jerry Sloan. But it wouldn't have mattered if Sloan coached the best game of his career Ray Ray still would have mauled us by himself). He's a goddamn animal and when he's on fire like he was tonight the only thing you can do is chase him around, try and put a very insignificant hand in is face and watch in disgruntled awe as he drains shot after shot and frustrates your team into giving up yet another large lead. Then you can do nothing but sit silently as he, being the one man team he is, takes the lead away from you like it was his all along and he only let you play with and admire it for a little while.

Four times a season I discover that I really hate Ray Allen.

He's the guy you hate to love.