May 14, 2006

It was a Sunday, Mother's Day. I was in New York visiting family. That morning I was helping my brother move out of his apartment in Manhattan when I got the phone call that shattered the foundations of my life.

Austin Lyle was my best friend. As important as that label is to me it seems like a gross understatement. Over the last year I have unsuccessfully tried to think of better, more accurate ways to verbalize just how much admiration, how much respect and how strong a sense of camaraderie and companionship I felt towards Austin. Maybe it was because I knew him since we were little tykes playing tetherball and soccer during recess in the first grade or maybe it was because he was one of the few friends I never lost complete touch with when I moved away in the fourth grade, but for some reason calling him my "best friend" just doesn't seem to cut it. I always saw he and his brother, Adam, as family, but closer than family. The words I am searching for still escape me, but the point is I felt a bond with Austin that was indescribably strong and, to me, was very special.

I am not the only one who felt that way, however. Through talking to people who knew Austin I have come to realize that each and every one that he touched feels a similar bond. He had the uncanny and unmatched ability to make people feel good about themselves. He made people laugh, he brought out the best in them and he made them feel important. He made friends easily and kept each and every one close to his heart. Once you were his friend you were family and Austin would be there at a moments notice, no questions asked. I can’t even tell about the countless times life got rough and Austin dropped everything to lift my spirits and get me through the rocky times. Whether it was taking me out for beers or having me over to watch America’s Funniest Home Videos (there’s something about seeing guys get hit in the nuts with hard, blunt objects that always brings a smile to my face) he always knew how to cheer me up.

I knew Austin meant a lot to a lot of people but I had no idea just how many people he touched. When he died (one year ago today) the outpour of concern, kinship, grief, and support was overwhelming (in the most positive sense of the word). The amount of people that attended his services rivaled what I imagine would be the attendance of a rock star's funeral. He meant so much to countless people and that is a testament to his character. You could not ask for a better person to be associated with and I am convinced that you would never find a person who is a better brother, son or friend.

That fateful Mother's Day proved to be a dark, dark day; there is no doubt in my mind that Austin made the world a better and happier place. He loved to laugh and smile and absolutely adored making others do the same. He had a quick wit and an infectious sense of humor. When Austin was in a crowded room there was never a shortage of smiles and it was nearly impossible to be in a bad mood.

His popularity was more far reaching then I ever imagined. I considered him to be my closest friend for just over 18 years and to this day I still meet people, strangers to me, who knew him. His magnetic personality drew people to him and stayed in people's minds; he was nearly impossible to forget.

Another one of Austin's unique gifts was to bring people together. Some of the best friends I have today are people he introduced me to. In that sense his death was much like his life. When he passed away dozens and dozens and dozens of people gathered together to share stories and laugh about all the good times. While it was officially called a Celebration of Life, it was, in a small way, a party and that is exactly how Austin would have wanted it. I remember years ago he told me that he wanted his funeral to be a kegger, one big party with people having a good time instead of focusing on their negative emotions. Well obviously it wouldn't be a kegger, but I would say what happened was as close to his wish as possible. Everyone whom he touched in his life gathered to focus on how wonderful he was and how much he meant to us all.

Austin Lyle was one of the best people I have ever known. His loyalty was uncanny and I have never seen that quality so prevalent and strong in anyone else I have ever met. He was a great example to everyone and I have made it a personal goal to be more like him in the way I treat the people I care about. I miss him now more than ever and I still cannot believe it has been a year since he passed away. I, much like everyone who knew him, will hold him in my heart until the day I die. Life has not been the same without him and I can't imagine it ever will be. If I had one more chance to speak to him I would thank him for all the great times and for always being there.

I once read a quote (I'm not sure who said it) that said: "Real friends are the people that are there with you when the good times aren't." I cannot think of a better way to describe Austin. He was a real friend which is something I have come to find is not all that common. I feel lucky and blessed to have known him and had him a part of my life. I miss you, Austin!

Austin Andrew Lyle
March 18, 1981 - May 14, 2006